The Scots language is a thing of beauty - whether its the poetry of the Bard or telling someone to 'away an bile yer heid'.

We have a particular craft of being able to insult one another in a joking manner, as anyone who has ever been called 'glaikit' or a 'roaster' or warned that 'Yer bums oot the windae' will know all too well. And they have evolved over the years and with the times, from 'Yer Da Sells Avon' to 'yer a riddy'.

Us Scots are rich with wit and we hold a proud number of jokesmiths, from Frankie Boyle to Billy Connolly. And we've compiled a list of some of the best Scottish insults - they may not be in the English dictionary, but we'll know exactly what you're saying if you refer to us as one of these.

Eejit/Bampot/Numpty/Tube/Dafty - The Scots don't suffer fools gladly and as a result there are numerous words for idiot in the Scottish vocabulary.

"See him, he's a bloody eejit."

Bawbag - A new favourite for many, it literally means scrotum, but has grown to encompass much more than that.

"That guy is a total Bawbag."

Dobber / Fud/Walloper/Tadger - These four are pretty interchangeable. Various forms of words for genitals, they are usually used as a way to describe people who are annoying.

"I canny be arsed with him, he's being a tadger."

Rocket/Nugget/Dafty/Roaster/Melt - Another raft of expressions for people you'd happily avoid if you could.

"That bird's a rocket, she's tuned to the moon."

Lavvy heid - (Toilet head) somebody who is full of crap.

"Don't believe a word that comes out of lavvy heid's gub."

Clipe - someone who is known to grass people up.

"What you looking so smug for? You're just as bad ya wee clipe."

Boot/Cow - usually aimed at women in a derogatory way.

"See her, she's a nosey cow."

Jobby - Scots word for sh*t.

"Why does someone not know how to flush the toilet after they've done a jobby? Disgusting!"

Phrases

You're doing my nut in - (You're doing my head in) A way to tell someone they are annoying you. Combine with some of the insults above for a more devastating effect.

"See you ya numpty, you're doing my nut in with all of these questions.

Shut yer puss - (shut your face) - usually aimed at someone who is being loud.

"Will you shut yer puss, I'm trying to listen to what the guy is saying."

Yer bums oot the windae - You're talking nonsense.

Away an bile yer heid - (Away and boil your head) Beat it.

"Och, away an bile yer heaid pal."

Face like a well skelped erse/like bulldog licking piss off a nettle/Yiv a face like a skelpit erse (doric) - They are ugly.

"Why do you fancy him? He's got a face like a well skelped erse."#

Yer a riddy - You're embarrassing.

"Are you actually going out like that? That's a pure riddy."

Bolt - Get to.

"Bolt ya dafty."

Yer awfy crabbit - You're awfully grumpy.

"Jeez, she's awfy crabbit this mornin."

You're humming - You smell bad or smell of smell of something.

That is bogging/hoaching - Usually refers to something that is bad.

"I like him but his patter is hoaching."

He's glaikit - Someone that is foolish, or thoughtless.

Yer aff yer heid - You're crazy. Usually aimed at someone who is always coming up with silly ideas.

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